road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
