fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
