well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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