I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize