I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
