I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
