I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
