My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I need to stop coming to work sober
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
if only i could text you this smell
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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