i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
