Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
