Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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