We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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