remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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