I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
