I cannot find my penis.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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