I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize