well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
