awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
is wine microwaveable?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
