So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
