no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize
