i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
