Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
