Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
