I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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