Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize