you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You took a bar mat shot.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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