she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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