He asked to "fluff my boner.."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
