i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
