Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
