It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Are my feet made of real feet?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize