I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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