Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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