she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
