i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm jealous of your bromance
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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