After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
