I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize