i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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