Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize