so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The Olympian is in my bed
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
