He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
