He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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