That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
