I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
