My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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