life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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