She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
