too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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