How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
