felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
