You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
