Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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