I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
