Sry I called you an 8
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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