Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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