? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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