you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Randomize
