On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
