If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
